I hide my garbage when I babysit so the parents don’t know how much I eat.
p0ndorica: p0ndorica: sometimes i see dudes on the internet like “ya i have a 10 inch dick” and then i eat a 6 inch subway sandwich and im looking at this sandwich and its like..idk how almost double that would be a good thing my vagina winces at the thought it was 4am and i compared a penis to a sandwich
yaygocats: discomplete: “i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography “I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
The "darling" kills me
People really don't talk on the phone as much as...
plaidalecki: ok but do u realise how intimate it is to sleep fACING SOMEONE and when you start to fall asleep and you keep kinda opening your eyes and drifting in and out, every time you open your eyes you see that person across from you, you look at them, and they’re sleeping facing you too and you make eye contact sometimes and you’re just LAYING THERE, GOING TO SLEEP, LOOKING AT EACH OTHER ...
There are people who tweet like I blog here
Omg they tweet to people they KNOW.
Quote of the day:
“Wait I thought you were in the bed”
I love sleeping close to other people and...
You know when your skin is touching someone else's...
I love that feeling so much it makes me want to puke sometimes
I like man chests
theemptyholmes: theemptyholmes: theemptyholmes: If you ever think your life is bad just remember that when my sister was born my mum threw up on her She knows She’s still pissed off at me and blame all of you
The girl to guy ratio with my friends is usually...
When you and who ever are holding each other up and you’re kind of rocking back and forth and your nose fits exactly under their shoulder and it doesn’t smell. And you don’t care whose watching because it feels like just you and that person, together. Long hugs are one of my favorite things.
I thought I smelt weed out my window and I got really excited and I went to smell outside and realized it was actually a skunk. Why do I like the smell of weed again?
Why do people exaggerate to make everything seem...
stawp-that: Mi papá tiene 47 años= my dad is 47 years old Mi papa tiene 47 anos= my potato has 47 assholes I love spanish
leviathans-in-the-tardis: howling-lights: howling-lights: leviathans-in-the-tardis: sometimes i get mad at australian stereotypes but then i remember that my backyard looks like this IM FREAKING OUT THIS IS MY BACKYARD HOW DID YOU GET THIS PICTURE?????? never mind i just found my brother’s blog by accident uGHHHH YOU FREAK GO AWAY
nunfollowed: today in science i said proton gang or die and a girl reported me to our teacher for gang-like behavior
I love wasting time talking on the phone
Rachel and Ross
I am crying I can’t.
meladoodle: *adds laughing tracks to your sextape*
rnikedirnt: rnikedirnt: my health teacher has a sign in her room that says ‘if you cant handle the word vagina, then you shouldnt have your penis in one’ i wonder if my health teacher knows that shes tumblr famous
My ear was finally healed enough to sleep on my...
My friends and I have a group message and pictures...
I give my friends mad props for actually liking me...
Maybe they secretly actually don’t like me lol.
sociablesociopath: Also super thirsty for affection
So fucking nice to finally be outside.
I hate junior year ohmy god
WOW I REALLY NEEDED A PICK ME UP
I did well on my chem exam and I got asked to prom May is gonna be a good month
In the scheme of things I have no significant...
Then I feel like shit for being stressed